It's been a little while since I've updated about myself. I've just have been posting my thoughts and prayers on here for some time. Well still in a world wide pandemic that everyone hoped it would last a couple of weeks but we've been in it for 8 months with no hope in site of things ever getting back to normal. Which people have been calling this the new normal, but I don't want this to be the new normal. Where you walk into the grocery store and people are wearing mask, judge you if you wear your mask wrong. Where everyone tries to not be in 6 ft of you and will avoid going down the aisle you're in because even if they are in a hurry or need to be in that aisle it is so much better to just glare someone down. (I've had this happen to me countless times) People can't worship in their building without mask, no hugs, handshakes or smiles are allowed in fear of spreading. Masks covering up smiles and muffling sounds. I really don't want that as my new normal. I want to see more smiles and less frowns and judging stares. I want us to be able to go out and help people who are struggling instead of saying a prayer from our own space. I want a busy life where I see people thriving and not people using their social media as a way to thrive. During this time I've been really enjoying the time I have been spending with the small circle of friends but oh it gets pretty lonely when you hope on social media and the people you get to see once a week or more but can't because of this virus are posting about things in life they're doing and you feel the sadness of just not able to hang out with them. I long for the days where socializing was a really good thing and not a judgmental thing if you do. I long for the days we can feel safe our other humans enough for hugs (yes I said hugs) and faceless smiles.
I remember at the beginning of this year I asked the Lord for a year of growth. a year where he would show me things in me that I needed to work on or things in me that he wanted to work on through me. I wanted to find ways to help people in ways that I was feeling led but to afraid to step out in. I also remember one night just extremely burnt out from people. My weeks felt so busy and out of control and I was ready to cry in overwhelmness. I remember asking him for a pull back moment where I could just breathe and rest... Like really rest. And then this happened which I definitely was dancing in excitement of my responsibilities lessened and my body could rest. Well fast forward 8 months. Everything has opened bits and bits where everyone is getting so done with this. I'm sitting on my bed writing while I'm wondering "What do we need to change in order for us to move through this?" What does the Lord want for us during this crazy, fearful and now annoying time? Because while I'm sitting here waiting on the Lord I know there's so many people without hope in the Lord. No idea if their question all on this is ever going to be answered or if there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Covid says we can't do so many things without masked and 6ft apart but I know what I can be doing right now that doesn't even have to break any rules. I can pray and ask the Lord daily for giving each and everyone strength and hope for tomorrow. I want to be able to do that daily especially on days I feel hopeless or even how I have been feeling the last 2 weeks.. Super stressed and anxious. So though I didn't really do too much updating you all. I feel like I just let you into my brain processing of 3 months. And that was just the short version of it.
