Can't hold Down

The Desire to know you own soul will end all other desires." -Rumi

She is a fearless person. Loves trying things out. When given the opportunity she will take it without hesitation. Fear doesn't cause her to stop and think about taking that leap of faith. Very direct and honest. she take life with all that she is. Doesn't care what life throws at her. Decontee loves deeply even for those who's lives are full of pain and anger. Her heart goes deep for others. She absolutely adores her daughter. Growing up with her definitely gave me the best of both worlds. Mine and hers. Her world consisted of protecting her love ones, and she did it so in a mother bear manner. You messed with her loved ones you dealt with her. I love when I was thinking about what to write about her, I keep hearing the scripture, there is no fear in love, perfect loves drives out fear. Jesus is her perfect love, it has driven out fear and is perfect. She's beautiful and perfect in his eyes. In my eyes she's not letting that stop her. As we became adults we learned a lot more about each other. She's the more vulnerable one, not afraid to share her vulnerable spot with you. You get to know more about her in different eyes.

Spending time with her has rewards. Shared laughs, eye rolls from each other, silliness all around. Relationship status: Sisterly. I have been given a wonderful person in my life for the past 19 maybe earlier as we were both were adopted from the same orphanage by parents who went to the same church. Friendship I like and plan on keeping.

Beauty is not Perfection

I'm going to be real for a sec, or longer. Basically this entire post.

I remember a year or a few years ago my friend Ashley asked what was beauty. I remember giving a answer that everyone said or something I was trying to convince myself it was. But a few weeks ago I was asked if I thought I was beautiful. When I was asked that my first thought was "If I thought I was my insecurity would be gone from that." But instead I gave an Anne of Green Gable response when she said that she didn't like red hair. "I can imagine that I had beautiful skin and beautiful eyes but not with such a plain complexion. Can you imagine being divinely beautiful." As dramatic as that sounds I proceeded to tell the person that I don't really look at myself and tell myself I'm beautiful, and when she asked if I would rather have it told by someone who loved me or some stranger it got me thinking.

I work in a place where I see people coming from all over Corvallis, Oregon and other states. I have had people walk up to me and tell me that I was pretty, some were drunk or high and just hitting on me, and some may have genuine meant it but it never felt real. I never felt beautiful so why when someone else say it should I believe it when I didn't? I often read from quotes and books that beauty is not from the outside but it's what's in the heart. And I do believe that. What you feed inwardly gets shown outwardly.

My insecurity has shown me that I need to try and feel beautiful because reality society won't accept inwardly beautiful people but they will try and tell you that outward appearance is really what gets guys looking, and many other things that you have to constantly say yes to. Don't get me wrong, I struggle constantly trying to cover up my face and making myself more beautiful because even

 though I don't know if I believe that I'm truly a beautiful person. I tend to believe beauty comes from a different place then shown on the outside.  I love what this quote says about beauty. 

“Beauty has nothing to do with looks, it has everything to do with who you are as a person and how you make others feel about themselves.” 

I could go on but as I know how my brain works, I don't want to be writing a whole paper on beauty. But all in all  beauty is not something someone just is born beautiful. I mean there are some beautiful humans but it's also on the inside. I shouldn't care about trying to perfect my looks on the outside but make it count more on the inside. Make others feel better about themselves.

To the first I ever knew

To my siblings
 You guys were there from the beginning. 19 years ago I had nothing and I was placed in to a family with everything. You guys were the ones to tease me, to try and find my ticklish spot (still haven't found it and yes it exist) comfort me. To argue with, dance with and sing with. 19 years you were the greatest thing on earth that I thought for years was the worst thing to ever happen to me. Well even though we're getting older and spreading our wings all over the world thanks for the 19 years of teaching me what it means to have crazy siblings who care for each other. Even if we don't seem like we do at times. Happy National Siblings Day!

Real men only need One Bullet

"There's peace, Peace like a river, there's joy, Joy like a fountain." -Rush of Fools

When I was younger I had this older brother who liked to think he was the pro of the world. As I got older I began seeing him as one. He has a gentle and soft heart. Doesn't flaunt how great he is and is willing to be humble about his mistakes. Preston is someone you could go talk to and walk away feeling not just encouraged but determined. He's dorky, Preston's the person you can sing karaoke with and even though you look and sound dorky he puts a smile on your face. He's loving and if figuring out people's love language was a thing that would be who Preston is. He respects you and isn't afraid to tell you to straighten up (not in the posture sense) and he's a strong motivator and someone who is a good accountability partner. Trustworthy and easygoing.

Life feels you're living a Andy Griffith show with Preston. There's  laugh and comedy but there comes a time to be serious. There's also trouble with him as he used to be good at pranking. Never a dull moment with Preston the Pro.

April National Holidays

Here's April's Holiday:

April 1 -April Fools’ Day
April 2-National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day
April 3-National Find a Rainbow Day
April 4-National Walking Day
April-5-National Burrito Day
April 6-National Caramel Popcorn Day
April 7-National Beer Day
April 8-National Zoo Lovers Day
April 9-National Name Yourself Day
April 10-National Siblings Day
April 11-National Pet Day
April 12-National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day
April 13-National Peach Cobbler Day
April 14-National Dolphin Day
April 15-National Tax Day
April 16-National Wear Your Pajamas to Work  Day
April 17-National Cheeseball Day
April 18-National Animal Crackers Day
April 19-National Garlic Day
April 20-National Pineapple Upside Down Cake Day
April 21-National Chocolate Covered Cashews Day
April 22-National Jelly Bean Day
April 23-National Picnic Day
April 24-National Pigs in a Blanket Day
April 25-National Zucchini Bread Day
April 26-National Pretzel Day
April 27-National Tell a Story Day
April 28-National Blueberry Pie Day
April 29-National Zipper Day
April 30-National Oatmeal Cookie Day