I wish.... I was More Loving

To the media and the world... I wish I wasn't black... You hate me, I hate me. Racism is absolutely the source right now feeding my depression. I hate having my thoughts only be heard through my writing when all I need is a conversation about this but it has become such a touchy subject for some yet others actually care about black lives and other lives. Please explain to me why this is happening. Please tell me how we can make that change and how much we need each other... I say this often because I firmly believe it... We need each other. Our strength lifts up those who didn't think they were strong enough on their own. Our weakness become a joint effort if we ask for help. So why are we hating or afraid of people who look different than us. We were made all in the image of God and his perfection is made strong in our weakness. He saw each of us beautifully made. Racism is absolutely the worse feeling I've ever felt, I hate how people can take pride in bringing people down or harming people because they feel they are making the world a better place. It's not just so you know. And just so you know, I'm not perfect, I have fears that can stretch from where I was born to where I live right now. I have hurts a mile long I've done to other people and I have definitely thought some unpleasant thoughts about someone who has wrong me. But God is greater in all of this, he's been working on my heart for the last 8,395 days I've been on this planet and he's still continuing to do so. So media world. Yes I hate being black (I have for as long as I could remember) but I hate being racist more. I hate the word hate. I'm willing to love being black, and all those who wronged me, my neighbor,g family member, people will have special needs, people with disability, people who doesn't have the same color as me if you are willing to love yourself, your neighbor, family member, a person who did you wrongly, a gay, a person with special needs, people with disability and a person who doesn't have the same color as you.  Let's change the world.

To God.... What was your purpose in making me black, making people different from each other? Does looking down and seeing all the pain, suffering, war and violence, hatred and anger make you feel sad as I feel right now? What can I do to change what is going on in my neighborhood, in my house. Please continue to change my heart towards people. Show me how I can show love to those I have the hardest time loving. Just like in a sidewalk prophet song "Till you are my breath, my everything, Lord just keep making me."