Tuesday, February 6, 2018

When You Give Love A Second Chance

Here's a story I started in 2015 and finished 2 and a half years later:

“What is the Cause of guilt? What does it lead to?” The words of the pastor rang in my ears. As I looked around the church I could see that many eyes were fixed on him. Some nodded with the words he spoke, some squeamishly listening and others lost in thought while their eyes focused on him. “Guilt can cause many things. It can caused harm, destruction and despair. But God is there through all of this. Christ died to take away that guilt and shame. You don’t have to keep holding on to it anymore., let’s pray.” I got up after the prayer had ended and followed the crowd out of the sanctuary and headed towards the classrooms and nursery to pick up my kids. Stepped first by the nursery since it was the closest. Peeked inside and saw my 3 nursery kids, Colton and Areah who were a talking troublesome set of twins, who had just turned 4, After getting some slobbery kisses we went to pick up the other two kids. Mila my shy and sensitive 6 year old looked with relief as she spotted us. Jameson or James as many people call him raced up to me giving me a big hug and a picture he had drawn. My friendly, caring boy who took too much after his dad was only 7 but had a big heart. As I rounded my children up my mind went back to the Pastor’s words “Guilt can cause many things, it can cause harm, destruction and despair.” My life was full of guilt. About from when I was a reckless teen and did stuff I regretted to this day. To my marriage that fell apart because of mistakes. My kids were going to live with my mistakes and their own for the rest of their lives. As I drove away from church I silently prayed that my guilt for what happened in the past would be washed away, I didn’t want to hold onto it no more. We got home and as soon as I stepped foot inside the phone rang. Told Mila to get some toys for the twins to play with while I answered the phone. I answered with a quiet hello and the voice on the other end was a voice I hadn’t heard from since the twins were born….My Husband… I thought of many reasons on why he could be calling. “Evie? I know I’ve been horrible to you and the kids, but the reason I’m calling…” I held my breath, thinking he would say that he no longer wanted to pay child support because he remarried… But they were not the words he spoke. “Let me tell you a story….’

“Once upon a time there lived a this spoiled reckless teen who’s parents loved him so much but he could not see that so he left home with no money, nothing. He found a job at a bar and when he had enough money he left that job and started his own business. He proved to be smart and manage to make the business successful. One day a customer came in and he was head over hears for her. After that meeting he gave her his number and asked for hers. And they began dating. But he never told her anything of his past. Let her believe that he had no one. Two years later they married and God gave them many wonderful gifts, 2 boys and 2 girls who made him proud. But he was not happy and slowly started making others unhappy. He began fighting with the love of his life. And then one day he walked out of the only life that made him happy. He spent the next few months trying to forget about his life, his wife and kids. He thought many times after the divorce papers were final to remarry especially after he had found someone but this person didn’t make him feel special. He later found out that she was married and was leading him on. One night he cried out to God who he had forsaken since he started feeling unhappy. He asked God to change him and help him fix his life. He heard God say “go home,” so he thought back to his wife and kids but then he heard “Make right with your parents.” So he went home. His parents were so happy to see him and they forgave him. Sitting down the second night he was home he told them all about what he did since he left home. And how he had left his wife and kids because of the guilt in his life and now he didn’t know how to make it right with his wife. She still gave updates on their children but never heard anything from her. He had hurt her and was afraid that if he tried to get back into his kids’ lives she would keep them from him. But his mom’s words helped “Goo is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. God Brought you back to us and he will bring you back to your family. He working all things for his good. He loves you and them. He is present with you always.” He prayed that night to God asking him to give him a time he would be able to talk to his wife and ask her for forgiveness. God told him that “she has already forgiven you but needs to hear from you. Call her tomorrow, she will be waiting yet she doesn’t know it.”

So here I am asking you even though I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I want to be a part of your lives again. But because I have messed up, rushing back into something could end up being a mistake so if you’ll allow it, I want to go through marriage counseling with you, we never did it when we were engaged and it would be the best for us. By the end of his story I was crying, no bawling, I missed him and it was true I had forgiven him. I agreed to counseling before he could see the kids.

1 year and 9 months later­


Rocking Vera to sleep I’ve been thinking about the changes my family had been through almost two years later. Me and Kurt got married 5 months after going through marriage counseling. Vera Hope was born 10 months later. We’re not perfect but God is mending this family together an we’re growing stronger together. We’re free of the guilt we had in the past. Made me think of a verse from a song we sing at church “I’m no longer slave to fear, I am a child of God.” Thinking about how I am a child of god and that I’m in his hands. Life won’t always be easy. But I’m confident in know that God is with us in this life and all we got to do is trust him and serve him with our whole heart.

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