In My Room

A few years ago my cousin showed me a song from a band named Thousand Foot Krutch. It's called "In my room." Felt a little ironic because growing up I spent most of my room with my door shut away from people. So when she showed me this song, I didn't really like it at first. But as it was a popular song from Thousand Foot Krutch it was played on the radio station I used to listen to at that time. So it got stuck in my head which I decided to listen to it, really listen to it. And as I sat there listening I started crying. This part in the song had basically had been my cry the day Sarah died. "But can you meet me in my room. A place where I feel safe. Don't have to run away. And I can just be me" How often do we have a place where we can just cry, scream or a place that feel safe. For me it was my room, where I would cry, yell at God on many occasions, write stories. It was my safe place... As I'm writing this I'm sitting in my room. I've spent more time safe here than I have ever anywhere else. I resort here at the end of the day, or the beginning of the day.  This morning I met with my mentor and as we were talking I just started feeling a urge to think back on a moment when all this felt like it was crashing down. When I felt like I didn't really have a safe place to go to or someone to share. Because I currently wasn't going to talk to God because I wasn't speaking to him. But as I did then by dismissing the thought, I'm not writing the thought. Coming back to the present, as I sat listening to this song it became a song God using to call me to attention. It's time for me to go back in my room and listen.